Some of us live to work. Others work to live. But all of us, from time to time, have struggled to find harmony – and happiness – in the balance between our careers and our daily lives.
Today we speak with Anna Marie Frank, a renowned wellbeing expert, author, and entrepreneur, about work/life balance, corporate wellness, and how we can foster happiness for ourselves – and our employees – in every phase of our lives.
Anna Marie Frank is a doctor of traditional naturopathy and natural medicine, founder of the wellness center Happy Whole You, and author of the book Stop Bullying Yourself.
Key Points
- Choose Happiness: Emphasize personal choice in happiness, focusing on internal rather than external sources.
- Wellness at Work: Advocate for integrating physical, mental, and emotional wellness practices in the workplace.
- Focus on Positivity: Encourage looking for the good in every situation and practicing gratitude.
- Support Growth: Highlight the importance of continuous personal and professional development within organizations.
Learn more about Anna here.
***
Happiness means different things to each of us. After doing extensive research, Management 3.0 founder Jurgen Appelo discovered a common thread: Happiness is something we create. It is not something to achieve. It is a path you choose, not a destination to arrive at.
So many of us spend our lives in pursuit of happiness. Instead of searching for it, we need to find ways to live it, embrace it, and implement it into our daily lives. That’s why we created the 12 Steps to Happiness at Management 3.0.
You can find more information and even download a free poster of the 12 steps here.
Transcript
*Please note that the transcript has been automatically generated and proofread for mistakes. But remains in spoken English, and some syntax and grammar mistakes might remain.
Elisa Tuijnder: [00:00:00] Before we dive in, you are listening to the Happiness at Work podcast by Management 3. 0, where we are getting serious about happiness.
I’m your host Elisa Tuijnder, happiness enthusiast and Management 3.0 team member. In this podcast, we share insights from industry experts, influencers, and [00:00:30] thought leaders about what it takes to be happy, motivated, and productive at work, so that loving your job becomes the norm and not the exception. We will be publishing every fortnight on Friday, so be sure to tune in and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
Our guest today is Dr. Anna Marie Frank, a doctor of traditional [00:01:00] naturopathy and natural medicine. And she’s also founder of the wellness center, Happy Whole You. She also created a line of Nutracatals and is the author of the book, Stop Bullying Yourself. If I said that wrong, you can feel free to correct me one second.
Nutraceuticals.
Anne Marie Frank: It’s a long one. Okay,
Elisa Tuijnder: Nutraceuticals. I asked you about other things and I didn’t even, I forgot to ask you about this one. So welcome Anne Marie to the podcast. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Hey, I’m super excited to [00:01:30] chat with you today about all these things that I cannot pronounce perfectly.
But before we jump in here on the podcast, we always start with the same question, and that is, what does happiness mean to you?
Anne Marie Frank: Happiness to me is not feeling weighed down, being okay with who I am, and not searching for anything outside myself.
Elisa Tuijnder: Beautiful. I love how you had to like, [00:02:00] sort of introspect for a second there, which is great.
We also on the podcast really like to know what your story is. I always like to get to know the person and what drew them to their career. So you have one in natural medicine and naturopathy, if naturopathy, I’m not, I’m going to stop trying this one. Naturopathy. Naturopathy. Thank you. Um, yeah. What drew you there?
Yeah. Yeah.
Anne Marie Frank: Yeah, honestly, my journey came from me not being happy. [00:02:30] When I was in high school, I was a varsity sport athlete, four sport athlete. I got good grades. I had a roof over my head. I had all the things, check the box, check the box, check the box. But when I checked in with myself, I was not happy. And this is something I didn’t tell other people.
It was a secret. And then I went on to university and, you know, as a division one athlete, um, got good grades again, still not happy. And I thought, okay, now that [00:03:00] I’ve graduated college, I’m going to move to California, move from the cold of Michigan to California, and I’m going to be happy. That’s what’s going to make me happy.
I’m going to have a job. I’m going to actually make money for once in my life. And that did not change anything. I showed up at work, um, started working and realized I’m still not happy. And so then I had health insurance, so I thought I’ll [00:03:30] just go to a doctor and they’ll give me some medicine and this will then make me happy.
And what I found is I spent about 10 15 minutes with a psychiatrist. He put me on three mind altering medications. Uh, continued on a downward spiral, was not happy, no longer wanted to be alive. And luckily, I had this little inkling of light inside of me that told me, you are the only person that can make yourself happy.
You are the only person that can [00:04:00] fix what’s going on within you. So then I set forth on a journey to heal my brain and heal my body naturally. And I started to study homeopathy. I started to study. naturopathy. I started to study Chinese medicine. I started to just really look into what is out there that is natural that can start to help me heal what was going on within me.
And through that journey, I [00:04:30] then ended up getting a master’s degree. I ended up getting my doctorate in traditional naturopathy, got my PhD in natural medicine, and now I work with people one on one. I work with companies and their, their team members. And so I’ve just created this life all around how we ultimately reprogram the brain, restore our foundations of health, and shift the way we think and speak [00:05:00] about our lives.
Elisa Tuijnder: Yeah, super important. And it’s a, I hear this a lot. People who work in happiness are often people who don’t start out very happy and had to kind of forge their way forward. And I quite like that, that they then, you know, find the light in themselves or find the happiness. And they were like, okay, now I have to share this with other people.
I have to, you know, pay it forward, basically, but it’s a beautiful, a beautiful story and I’m happy you’re also paying it forward. So. [00:05:30] You focus primarily on happiness and happy whole you, and that’s what we want to talk about a bunch today, but, um, you help also people in the workplace and that’s why we’re at happiness at work here as well.
So it’s for people to aspire to, you know, health and wellness as well. So. What kind of work challenges do you see a lot in these modern workers? Why are these companies coming to you? Um, what are the problems? And obviously you don’t have to divulge in like, uh, very personal stories [00:06:00] there, uh, of any of the people you work with, but why are you seeing so much unhappiness and why are people coming to you?
Anne Marie Frank: Well, at the root of it, you know, they’ll come to me and it’s like, oh, well, we had this, You know, acquisition, we had this, you know, this population, they lapped the, we’re changing out our management team and, you know, we had to cut jobs, we had to do this and it’s like all this stuff and they’re, they’re acting as if this is why people are not happy at work.
Elisa Tuijnder: Yeah. [00:06:30]
Anne Marie Frank: And at the root of happiness, if people are showing up at work and they’re not happy, they’re not satisfied, it has to come from within them. Right? Like happiness is a choice. So when I go into these companies, my job is to work with the people on how they are thinking and speaking about their life.
You know, if they’re like, Oh, my boss, he just doesn’t like me. My boss doesn’t like me. My boss doesn’t like me. And it’s [00:07:00] like, yeah, your boss probably doesn’t like you. And they’ll look at me like,
Elisa Tuijnder: what?
Anne Marie Frank: Right? Well, yeah, if you’re looking for all the things. that your boss is doing that could reflect back to you that they don’t like you.
So it helps you to justify what you’re saying. It will be there for you. Now, if we flipped our brain and started looking at all the things that are great about our boss and that how our boss does, you know, show up and like you and give you a paycheck and all the things gives [00:07:30] you opportunities. You’ll find those too.
So when I go in the organizations, it’s like, I start working with the people on their mindset. How are, what lens are they seeing the world through and helping them to start to realize that it’s up to them to choose happiness. It’s up to them to make a difference at work. And, you know, it’s, it’s a really cool thing when we can take personal responsibility for where we’re at in our life and what’s happening in our life [00:08:00] versus blaming everything around us.
And when you start to show up in a way where you are filling your cup, you’re happy, you are living with integrity, you know, you are, you are satisfied. When you start showing up in that way, when you do have, you know, layoffs going on, when you do have these challenges that go on in companies. you are then better able to handle it.
And it’s amazing. [00:08:30]
Elisa Tuijnder: Yeah, I wholeheartedly agree. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness, even or also what people often don’t think in companies themselves. Um, but would you also agree with the statement that it is up to leaders and managers to create space for people to explore, for people to come to you, for example, et cetera, uh, for them to be able to shift their mindsets, for them to create the space.
I think that’s, that’s the best way to describe it.
Anne Marie Frank: Yeah. Well, yeah, absolutely. So your leaders should be happy. If [00:09:00] you are a happy and fulfilled person, you are going to better be able to show up and give people space and support them in a way where they are on a journey and they, you are leading by example, therefore, they are going to look for you, look to you as a leader.
And, um, I think all too often, I believe most people are leaders and leaders in my definition [00:09:30] are people that are making things happen that otherwise would not happen without them. And so, you know, you know, If you are in a quote unquote, leadership position, manager position, I’m using air quotes here, and you think that automatically makes you a leader, I would,
Elisa Tuijnder: Yeah, I’d make you a manager, but not particularly good one.
Yeah, I would just, yeah,
Anne Marie Frank: like, are you creating things and making things happen that otherwise wouldn’t happen without you? [00:10:00] First and foremost, are you making a difference in the world? You know, these are very important things. You know, there’s people out there that are, are not doing that, but you don’t even have to be in a leadership, quote unquote, manager role to be a leader.
And so people are forgetting when you show up to your first job, when you show up year two, year three, year four, year five, you can choose to be a leader. You can choose all that happiness. You can [00:10:30] choose to do things that otherwise wouldn’t happen without you. And we need to quit waiting for permission.
to be our true authentic selves and to step into that we are naturally gifted.
Elisa Tuijnder: Yeah, absolutely. Uh, definitely agree with that. One of the other things we hear a lot for people to, to be happy is, you know, that work life. Divide almost, you know, as I mean, as long as I can do my eight hours, as long as, you know, the balance is right, the work life balance is okay, you [00:11:00] know, and you’ve actually called that a myth or that the work life harmony is that that’s that that’s something we shouldn’t be striving for.
Can you explain that? I mean, it doesn’t mean that you want everybody to work all the time, I’m guessing. So what do you mean by that?
Anne Marie Frank: Well, I, I think work life balance is, well, the word balance within itself is, is, I don’t believe it exists. So when I work with companies, like if I’m live in person with them, I have everybody stand up and if we talk about [00:11:30] balance, I tell everyone, okay, balance on one foot, so you’re standing on one foot.
And at the surface, we’re saying, we’re looking and saying, okay, we’re all balancing. But what’s really happening is we’re making, our ankle is making all these micro little adjustments and you’re swaying a little bit side to side, you know, it’s not super noticeable, but it’s happening. Mm hmm. And for some it’s more noticeable than others.
Yeah, for some it’s more noticeable, you know, if they don’t work on balance and, you know, they’re not doing these things, it’s a [00:12:00] little bit more challenging for them, right? So. I always say it’s like a juggle. We’re juggling the things in our life and to think that there’s a perfect balance I think is, is very silly.
Now, I think life can feel a lot more balanced and a lot more satisfied when you’re doing things. that are in alignment with who you are. And I think a lot of people show up in this life and are not doing the things [00:12:30] that help them feel fulfilled. They’re not doing things that build their confidence. And so with that, if you’re not feeling fulfilled and you don’t have confidence, You are going to be miserable no matter where you go and no matter where you work.
And so we have to start getting people to start thinking in a way, start doing in a way, that is going to build their confidence, that is going to fill their cup. and take personal responsibility [00:13:00] for where they’re at in their life.
Elisa Tuijnder: Yeah, absolutely. Hey, can we make that a little bit more tangible? So someone comes to you and say, Hey, Annemarie, I am not happy whether they came to you as an individual or they came as part of the organization.
I’m struggling with work life balance and I want to feel more fulfilled. I might want to feel more, um, more happy, basically. So how, how do you work with them? How do you make them find the paths? Because a lot of, some people know really what they want to be doing and what fulfills them. Other people don’t know what gives [00:13:30] them the grind and what gives them, you know, energy.
Um, so where do you start with that one?
Anne Marie Frank: Well, first I ask, when was the last time that you were showing up in life feeling happy?
Elisa Tuijnder: Oh, wow. Yeah. Let that sink in for one second.
Anne Marie Frank: Yeah. When’s the last time you were shown up in life and you were happy and you were satisfied? And a lot of times they’ll go back to a time and they’ll start naming off these things they were up to, these things they were doing.
And these things that they were up to and these things that they were doing [00:14:00] were things that were developing them as a person, were causing them to become better, to learn something new. Travel, camping,
Elisa Tuijnder: or studying, new
Anne Marie Frank: experiences. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and for some reason, we think once we get the job, we’ve done all the work.
Elisa Tuijnder: Mm hmm. hmm.
Anne Marie Frank: We’ll go to school, we’ll go, you know, get a trade, we’ll go through the application, we’ll go through all the things, we’ll learn the [00:14:30] processes in the organization, and then what? Then we become a robot? Yeah. We stop developing ourselves. So it’s finding out what were you, what were you doing when you truly found, or when you were truly happy?
And then you get them to say what they were doing, and then you ask them, Oh, well, are you still going to the gym like you were? Are you still going running 5Ks like you were? Are you still painting? Are you eating [00:15:00] healthy? Are you still eating healthy? Are you, are you still taking those weekend trips that were fun with your friends?
And so that can kind of start to wake people up because You have happiness within you every single day. It’s whether you’re choosing it or not.
Elisa Tuijnder: Absolutely. So in the past, you’ve spoken around holistic corporate wellness is, and how would you define that? And is that kind of, you know, I feel like there’s a segue here.
Like [00:15:30] how does the corporation or the organization help with that? And what do you mean really with holistic corporate wellness from your perspective?
Anne Marie Frank: Yeah. So we look at like the wholeness of the individual. So I mean, we have a lot of local clients and then we have clients that we work with remotely.
And we don’t just, you know, a lot of, there’s companies out there that’ll have a monthly newsletter and a discount membership and call that wellness. Well, that’s not wellness. Okay. Let’s [00:16:00] be honest. Or have the step challenge or something. Yeah. And usually it’s kind of the last thing on, on, on the list to.
You know, put money into or to look at. And so we go in and we will do either live workshops. We do webinars with clients. We do courses. We do six week different courses on like one of them is mind, mindset and leadership course we do. And we have all [00:16:30] these little touch points with, with the population.
We’ll work with, you know, leadership management team all the way to, you know, People that are working in the cubicles, to bus drivers, to transportation people, to the night shift workers. So we really look out, okay, who is your population? How many locations do you have? What are their shifts? What’s the socioeconomic income levels of all these different?
[00:17:00] And then we plug in different opportunities for them. Um, we’ve done breathing classes. We do cooking classes, mocktail classes, um, art classes, all, all sorts of, um, all sorts of things that are going to help move the needle in terms of, you know, individuals confidence, individuals [00:17:30] realizing there’s More things to do than just the day to day, because it’s when your, it’s when your team gets stuck in the Groundhog’s Day kind of vibe, waking up and doing the same thing over and over and over.
Okay. Yes. In an organization, you may need that. There’s repetition that needs to be done for companies to run. That’s fine. But what are we doing in between those to do lists? Okay. [00:18:00] Can we spice it up? It’s like a relationship, right? You gotta spice things up. Gotta do date night
Elisa Tuijnder: every now and again.
Anne Marie Frank: I mean, yeah.
Hello.
Elisa Tuijnder: I like that actually. Date night, date night with yourself. Kind of like checking in.
Anne Marie Frank: Yeah. So it’s just, you know, it’s, it’s spicing things up, I think. And it’s educating people. I feel like our company, Happy Holy U, is education first. Because when people know better, when people have [00:18:30] knowledge, nobody can take that knowledge from them.
And that is really helpful. And so we always go in and try to help educate in a way where it’s self discovery, and it’ll stick with them a lot more. And they realize that they get to choose this life and they get to choose what they’re up to. Um, and then, you know, there’s the whole financial wellness aspect too.
Uh, so you have physical, nutritional wellness. We have financial wellness, uh, occupational wellness, like how do you make your [00:19:00] work environment, you know, productive, successful, fun, you know, like these, it doesn’t have to just be productive. And I think that that’s part, part of it, you know, I mean, I’m a business owner.
I want my girls to be producing. You know, um, but at the same time, there’s times when we need to step back. And like, before I came on this, this podcast, I had an employee that, you know, we were just talking and she was talking to me [00:19:30] about some personal stuff. And we’re talking about, Oh, well, what if you journaled on this?
What if you, you know, it’s like, Oh, I never thought about that. You know, and then, so, you know, it’s just, um, yeah, we have to create, create space and we can’t keep doing the same old thing day in and day out, or we’re not going to be happy.
Elisa Tuijnder: Journaling is such a funny one, isn’t it? Like, I mean, I try to because I know that it works, but it’s like, I thought about it because, um, I did the, my, I upgraded my phone and [00:20:00] now automatically you get a journal app from Apple in it.
And it’s kind of, yeah, it’s like one of the standard apps now. And I was like, actually, it’s good that people are like, I mean, jumping on this bandwagon because we could do with writing down the positive things of our day, or even, you know, writing out the bad things of our day, of what’s going on. It’s great.
So. What I’m really hearing from you is that you kind of really have this holistic approach, uh, like you said, to start off with where you’re working on physical [00:20:30] wellness, mental wellbeing, uh, as well as kind of encouraging people to find hobbies and things to, you know, find their pathways to happiness outside and inside the corporation.
How does that corporate wellness really relate to you to, to employee health and employee satisfaction? Have you seen any positive movement there?
Anne Marie Frank: Yeah. Yeah. It’s like, once you start like with these opportunities, they start making up their own stuff. So now they have like a walking [00:21:00] group on their lunch breaks and now they’re doing like a steps challenge on their own.
And now they’re doing, you know, potlucks or they’re just, they’re doing things. on their own because now they’ve had the invitation of, Hey, yeah, we want you to be healthy. We want you to be happy. We want you to do these things. And so then the staff starts taking it upon themselves to start doing more of these things versus just bringing donuts in on a Friday, you know, and so there’s [00:21:30] just like more awareness around it.
And, um, it’s more, more inviting, um, which is, which is really great. You know, the other thing is too, is companies are like, well, you know, what’s our ROI, what’s our return on investment? And, uh, it’s the National Wellness Institute, um, and then I think it was Wellcola in the U. S. here where it was like for every dollar you spend on wellness, you get about a 1.
50 back in return.
Elisa Tuijnder: Yeah. [00:22:00] And then for every,
Anne Marie Frank: yeah, and for every dollar you spend in more like disease management, you get about 3. 50 back. And so that’s what you can track. But from what I’ve done in working with companies and what I know to be true is how do you put a dollar amount on, for example, there was an employee who, this was a school district, who was coaching kids, [00:22:30] driving them in the school district vans.
And we did a little, uh, biometric screening. This employee found out they had type 2 diabetes.
Elisa Tuijnder: Mm hmm.
Anne Marie Frank: Right?
Elisa Tuijnder: You might have saved their lives in that sense, right?
Anne Marie Frank: Yeah. Getting support for that. And here’s the thing, heaven forbid that he was driving, eight kids at the van, and he had an issue with his blood sugar and could no longer handle [00:23:00] being behind the wheel.
How do you put a dollar on that, right? And then you have, I’ve had, um, There is another gal who she lost just under a hundred pounds just from showing up to different wellness activities and started making small shifts over a year’s period of time, got off multiple medications, and then by the way, her husband started doing the same thing.
Elisa Tuijnder: Yeah. Yeah. It’s a ripple effect at that point then. I
Anne Marie Frank: mean, yeah. Yeah. Um, I’ll give you one other example. I just did a [00:23:30] six week course on mindset. It was for the city’s health department and it was for their, their employees. And through this course, one of the gentlemen was able to go to his father who was elderly.
They had, they don’t have really good conversations. The relationship is kind of, you know, not on the best terms. [00:24:00] And this person was feeling a certain way. And during one of the classes, He was saying how his dad thinks blah, blah, blah, blah. I said, well, how do you know that to be true? Did he tell you that?
Yeah. And he’s like, looking like, uh, this is something you’ve made up. This is a story you’ve made up in your mind. We all do this. We all make up stories in our mind. I was like, what’s possible if your dad knew you felt this way? And he [00:24:30] just sat there. Anyways, the next class he came back, he actually had the conversation with his dad and told him how he was feeling.
And they’re like, He’s like, he was just like in tears, just like, I just, uh, he like couldn’t believe it. Right? And so now his relationship is being mended. How do you think he’s showing up to work now? Do you think he’s showing up with his head down, like with this weight on him? No, he’s showing up with a pep in his step, right?
So these are just some examples of things that you just, [00:25:00] you can’t always put a dollar on.
Elisa Tuijnder: No, it’s, it’s hard. I often try and like, you know, we all know these numbers and there’s these, all these cool studies, uh, and they’re important to convince the C suite every now and again, or convince those people that it is important.
But in the end, it’s all about the stories. It’s about the individual stories of the people you’re making their lives better for, um, and, and the teams and, and, you know, the happiness that comes out of that and the wellness, et cetera, et cetera, what you just told us.
Anne Marie Frank: And I think, too, I’m just gonna throw this other thing in there that [00:25:30] in a culture I know here in the United States, it’s really, you know, it used to be being committed to a company, you would commit to them and work with them for a period of time.
And it seems now that it’s just, you know, one of those things where. Oh, I’ll work for them for this long, and then I’ll work for them for that long. And then I’ll go to this job, then I’ll go to this, you know, and, and people are moving on and having multiple careers, multiple [00:26:00] jobs. And as a business owner, that costs you so much money and turnover.
Elisa Tuijnder: Yeah. Attrition rates is painful. Yeah. Yeah.
Anne Marie Frank: So it’s like, what if we made people feel in our company that we cared about them? Because I would hope that we do care about them. I care about every single one of my employees. I’m like, I just, you know, and so when we feel like we have a connection with someone, we have, [00:26:30] we are more likely to be loyal to them.
Yes.
Elisa Tuijnder: Absolutely. Yep.
Anne Marie Frank: So if we create that environment where you’re investing in the well being of your staff, truly their well being, and honestly, I think the, the younger workforce. isn’t getting excited about, you know, uh, Miro 1K. They’re not getting super excited about the health insurance. They’re like, okay, like a lot of people don’t even have a family [00:27:00] practitioner anymore, you know, or a general practitioner anymore.
They’re just going to urgent care or they’re going to the ER if something feels off, right, which these are behavior health claims. And in the United States, we don’t have universal healthcare. So these companies are paying every single time. That somebody goes and has, you know, a stomach ache or is having acid reflux and they feel like they’re having a heart attack and they’re going to the ER and that costing thousands of dollars when really if they [00:27:30] shifted their diet and realize why the acid reflux was happening, that alone, one class about nutrition reminding people what acid reflux feels like.
You know, you can do to minimize it and get rid of it because it’s not a normal thing. You know, it’s just, it’s, it’s incredible. It is. It is incredible.
Elisa Tuijnder: Absolutely incredible for you, for your bottom line, for so many different reasons. And yeah, you give universal health care in [00:28:00] certain countries that is, um, uh, it’s still a, that’s still an option, but yeah, like in the United States, I didn’t, that’s one of the points I haven’t even, didn’t even think about as deeply than you just mentioned that.
Anne Marie Frank: Yeah. And it’s missed work too, and your time. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. The company, it costs you more on your, your health care claims. Yeah. But what about, what does it cost you for you to have an employee that isn’t there? Or you even have employees that’s called presenteeism, they’re there, but they’re not really there.
But they’re not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. So we have to start [00:28:30] helping people show up in a way that they’re empowered, that they feel like they’re a part of something bigger than themselves, where they feel that they are connected to the organization in a way that these people have my back.
Elisa Tuijnder: What leads to a happy life? What are the various ways to be happy? [00:29:00] Happiness means different things to each of us. Yet after doing extensive research, Management 3point0 founder Juergen Appelow discovered the common thread. Happiness is something we create. It is not something to achieve. It is a path you choose, not a destination to arrive at.
So many of us spend our times in pursuit of happiness. Yet instead of searching for it We need to find ways to live it, embrace it, and [00:29:30] implement it into our daily lives. We created the 12 Steps to Happiness at Management 3point0. You can find more information and even download a free poster of the 12 Steps at management3o.
com slash practice.
How important is it also to Listen to your employees. Like you said, you go into a company, you see what is the population, right? Like, because of what they, what a [00:30:00] fortune 500 company might need or a stock broker might need is not the same as, you know, what, what other people or your bus driver, you meant earlier, needs, right?
So how important is it for leaders to listen to what their wellness needs are or their happiness needs, et cetera?
Anne Marie Frank: Yeah. So when I go into organizations, one of the first things we do is we just send out a survey. Yeah. Like, what do they need? Yeah, you have to tell me, yeah, they’re going to tell you, they’re going to tell you their wishes, their dreams, their hopes, and everything in between.[00:30:30]
And if you can deliver 10 percent of what they say, you’re already winning because you weren’t doing anything before,
Elisa Tuijnder: you
Anne Marie Frank: know? And so, yeah, and it’s, it’s really important to listen to your team, um, and listening in a way. that you know you’re a good leader when your team comes to you, not just to complain, but they come to you with ideas and solutions to what [00:31:00] maybe they feel isn’t going right.
If you have employees that are coming to you complaining, complaining, complaining, complaining, that is because you are not leading and doing something right. There is something missing. So that, that can be a huge clue to you, um, of, of what could be going on. So that, listening to your team is very important.
They’re going to give you more ideas and they’re going to share things with you that you probably [00:31:30] didn’t know, and you probably, it wasn’t on your radar, you know, and there’s, there’s different ways people communicate as well. And so understanding the different personalities in your organization and how people communicate, there’s a lot of information there as well, which we do a, we do a class on, a webinar on, and that alone will blow your mind.
Elisa Tuijnder: Yeah, creating the, yeah, creating the psychological safety, as they call that so nicely, for your team to come to you with solutions and problems. So also solutions, [00:32:00] right? Solutions.
Anne Marie Frank: One of the things I tell, um, I tell employees, is if something is truly bothering you, like this is like, you’ve been complaining about it to your team members, first and foremost, I remind them how, you know, what that can create.
But if it is really that much bothering you, and it’s upsetting you that much, you owe it to yourself and the organization. [00:32:30] To email your boss or your superior and set up a meeting to discuss it and let them know I would like to meet to discuss and give it a couple bullet points. It’s not. The best practice to go and complain to everyone else, hoping it gets back to your boss.
It is not the best practice to see your boss in the hallway and say, Oh, I just wanted to talk to you about this one thing. And like, you don’t know what they’re up to. You don’t know where their head space is at. You don’t know [00:33:00] what’s going on with them. And so if it’s that important to you, you create the space and you create the appointment and you create the meeting to be able to come up with solutions.
For that, and I, but, but people, when we talk about that, they’re like, I never even thought about that.
Elisa Tuijnder: Mm hmm. Yeah. Right? It’s the company as well that needs to create that environment for people to feel safe enough to do this. Um, but it is so important that everyone kind of has that [00:33:30] space to talk and for them to listen as well, right?
For, for people to take it serious, for, for leaders and managers to take it serious. Um, there’s a bunch of things I still want to talk to you about, all the things that you do, but we unfortunately don’t have that time. But there was one The thing that really caught my eye is the book that you wrote, Stop Bullying Yourself.
Yes, I’d love to stop bullying myself. I know we don’t have a bunch of time, but can you give us why you wrote the book maybe? And also maybe a key takeaway, um, [00:34:00] or something tangible. Um, that we can think, Oh, now we want to go read the full book.
Anne Marie Frank: Yes. So ultimately, we all have this voice inside our head that pushes us to do better, to try harder, to achieve more.
Elisa Tuijnder: And
Anne Marie Frank: that voice is not always a bad thing. However, it becomes a bad thing when that voice is telling you, you’re still not good enough. You didn’t do a good enough job. You need to now get this, and then you’ll be [00:34:30] happy. Right? It’s that carrot that keeps going on. Um, and we teach people how,
Elisa Tuijnder: yeah,
Anne Marie Frank: it’s just moving it.
And so this is where we teach people how to essentially start to muffle that voice and silence that voice. Because I always go back to one of my favorite authors, Michael Singer, who always says, you are not that voice inside your head. You, who you truly are, is [00:35:00] the one. that is witnessing that voice, which is like mind blowing, right?
It really is, yeah. Yeah, we’re like a soul having this embodiment experience. And, um, but with that voice, the way we start to silence it is we start to fill ourselves up with things that are going to add value to our life. [00:35:30] We start taking a walk around the block. We start going outside and getting sunshine on our brakes.
We start complimenting other people. We start having positive conversations. We start going to bed a little bit earlier. You know, we start doing these very things that fill us up. And I always say, we got to go back to the basics. We have gone so far. From what the basics are, just getting sunlight hitting your skin, putting your bare feet in the grass, going [00:36:00] outside, taking deep breaths, drinking with water.
Elisa Tuijnder: I mean, we’re actually just really complex houseplants. We need, we need water and sunshine. And I know for myself, I don’t always do this, but when I 10 times better.
Anne Marie Frank: 100%! 100 times better, yeah. Yes, our brains are the strongest pharmacy on planet earth. So we get to choose how we want to feel. And we can choose other things that are going to help us feel really, really good [00:36:30] inside.
But if you’re not choosing those things, then quit expecting to feel a certain way.
Elisa Tuijnder: Yeah, absolutely. Hey, um, so you kind of stole my thunder just now because, no, don’t worry. It’s perfect. Because our last question is always like, we are super big fans of tangible practices and we always want to end. The podcast with a strategy, a tool, a practice that people can start implementing tomorrow.
And you just gave me a bunch, right, you know, standing, put your feet in the grass, et cetera, uh, seeing the [00:37:00] sunshine, um, but maybe leave us with one that is sort of your favorite or, you know, that you see people always going, Oh my God, I didn’t think about that. Oh yeah.
Anne Marie Frank: So I challenge you to go from this moment forward.
Until your head hits the pillow or if it’s late at night, do this all tomorrow. Look for everything that is spectacular and that is going good. Just the fact that you can jump in a car and [00:37:30] have this thing with four wheels and a motor take you from point A to point B is pretty amazing. Like I want you to just like think of so many cool things.
If you go, if you take the subway, like what? Somebody created that. How amazing is that? Right, like you have this computer you go to work and it’s like just turns on and helps you like message people and send emails. You have a co worker that always shows up with a smile. Let them know like you are always smiling, keep rocking it.
Thank [00:38:00] you. Right. So getting in gratitude and looking for what is good in your day and just stay focused on what’s good and that’ll help to start rewire your brain to look for the good things.
Elisa Tuijnder: Reframe, reframe things. That’s amazing. I love that. I’m, I, it’s late at night for me, so I’m going to do this tomorrow.
As soon as I get up. There you go. Uh, Anna Marie, thank you so much. If people want to find your company, Happy Whole You, find your book, et cetera. Where can they go?
Anne Marie Frank: Yeah. So you guys [00:38:30] can go to happywholeyou. com. Also on Instagram at. Happy whole you. And then I’m also on LinkedIn, Anna Marie Moray.
Elisa Tuijnder: Awesome, Anna Marie.
I’m going to add you on LinkedIn as soon as we, normally I do this before the podcast, but I got sidetracked, I think, but it’ll work. Uh, so thank you so much for this fun conversation. Uh, you’ve ended my day, right? And apparently you’re also starting my day, right? Tomorrow [00:39:00] and the rest of the day, well, I kind of bet, uh, while I will be looking for things that are pretty amazing, which is a lot actually.
So thank you again.
Anne Marie Frank: Yeah. Thank you.
Elisa Tuijnder: You’ve been listening to the Happiness at Work podcast by Management 3. 0, where we are getting serious about happiness. Be sure to subscribe wherever you get your [00:39:30] podcasts. And if you enjoy our shows, don’t be shy. Write us a review, share the happiness with your colleagues, family, or friends. Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, or LinkedIn under Management 3.0.
